5/8/12. Up at 3:30. Finished that last episode of The Borgias. Mentally prepared myself for the day I knew I was gonna have. Kited off to see one of my doctors. Hoped for good news. Needless to say, news wasn't that great. Not bad, but not great. Pretty much what I expected.
Sitting in the doctor’s office is somewhat a mentally cathartic experience. I gave up the need to have someone accompany me long ago. So I’m alone with my thoughts in the all too familiar environment. Most people don’t know that if they get a random text or email from me out of nowhere, I’m usually in the doctor’s office or hospital. For some reason, the strangest things seem to cross my mind. I tend to be a little too reflective. I start thinking about our time here, all the things that go undone, and all the things that are never said. So naturally, I give in and let my fingers do the walking. Recently, I was told that I ask questions that don’t have answers. Huh? I disagree. I ask questions that some tend to not WANT to answer due to the possible fall out, positive or negative. So yesterday, I decided to just jot down all the questions that popped into my head while I was being poked & prodded.
Questions. No answers.
Is it just me or is there really no privacy in the most "exclusive" doctor's offices? Why are looks of pity given to the pregnant woman with the toddler? Where is her husband? WHERE IS HER HUSBAND? wtf? Why is the quadruple standard primarily perpetuated by women? What does that missing ring mean? What do those rings mean? On a hand? In a drawer? Do they mean the same thing? Eternity on? 5G's off? How far can I get with 5G's? Where do I wanna go? What do I wanna do? Who do I wanna do? Here? There? Him? Did he ever get it? Did I really have to spell it out? Are some things truly better left unsaid? If so, what things? Things like physically connecting with someone from the past? Physically connecting? Fucking? Huh? Back to the quadruple standard?
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