Bigger & Me, Bigger in We - Still Dueling the Damn Duality

Last Saturday morning, up at 5, scrolling through the tv guide, I saw that Native Son was on. I'm not a huge fan of the movie but the book's been one of my favorites since I was 12. At one point, I was so fascinated by Richard Wright that I only wanted to read his books. He had a way of shaping his works to allow the reader to easily transition from onlooker into the main character's role. However, we all know there's a huge difference between reading a work and seeing the translation on film. I prefer books but I also appreciate the vision of filmmakers who bring books to the big (or small) screen.

Back to Bigger and his duality that's still embodied today. This scene incited an inner turmoil that's still there a week later. It may dissipate at times but I also know it's always there.

Here's the synopsis: Bigger is a chauffer for Mary's upper crust family. Mary's college age. She's involved with a young man, Jan, who's heavily involved with the social 'revolution.' Bigger drives Mary to pick up Jan who insists that Bigger looks him in the eye & call him by his name rather than 'sir.' Jan hops behind the wheel of the car, forcing Bigger to sit between him & Mary. He then asks Bigger where he likes to eat, and proceeds to one of the blackest, soul food joints in town. Needless to say, Bigger is OBVIOUSLY uncomfortable during the entire encounter. He can't look any of his people in the face at the restaurant and doesn't even acknowledge his boo when she recognizes & calls out to him.
***end incited scene***

How many of us have had anything similar to this happen in the past week? Month? Year? I don't believe anyone who says they haven't. It may not have been an incident at the same magnitude of Bigger's, but be it minor or major, it's happened.

Do you know anyone who sounds like a completely different person at work or school? Refuses to completely relax in public places like restaurants, movie theaters, or even grocery stores when certain races are present? Refuses to discuss ANYTHING race related in public, even the current presidential election?

At one point my brother couldn't stop clowning me because when he called me at work he didn't know who I was. We're all guilty. I kno there's a time and place for everything. So shouldn't it always be time to be ourselves? With societal pressures & social 'norms' it's damn near impossible. So what does that say about us collectively AND individually?

Bigger embraced himself and understood his position in his world at the end of his short life. For me, the tragedy is that many won't recognize the duality, and in turn can't understand or escape this duality.