BLAH BLAH BLAH

9/30/2011...Random Foolishness

The last day of September. In a couple of hours it'll be October. The month that has cast a shadow of jealousy on me for years, since I was old enough to understand that no stork was responsible for delivering babies to pre-determined addresses. 29 years and I'm not ashamed to admit that October is bittersweet for me. I love the gradual change in weather. Being on the Riverview watching the muddy Mississippi conduct its business is one of the most calming and enlightening experiences I've ever had. With shorter days and longer nights, I often wonder what offerings will please Ra enough to cast rays of light upon my face for just a little longer. I also find myself yearning to become one with the darkness and consume all that I desire, as guided by Min, while succumbing to death over and over again until Khensu gives way to Ra once again.

I'm not headed anywhere with all of this. There are just random things on my mind that I feel compelled to express as if no one will ever see it. Hmm, I may want to tell my brother to stop calling me Min, although he's done so for the past 20 years. I may point him in the direction of the Egyptian gods but I doubt he'll stop when he discovers who Min is. For him, the name is associated with the little Asian girl from Barney & Friends decades ago...DON'T ASK! I think it's an October baby complex. Which brings me back to the jealousy issue.

I have a very tight knit family on the maternal side. What's interesting is that damn near 50% of them were born in October : my mother, my brother who was born exactly one week before my mother's birthday, my cousin who's closest in age to me was born three days after my mother's birthday, her two sons whose bday's are two weeks apart, and my second closest cousin was born a few days before November. What in the hell is going on 9 months or 40 weeks before October? Is it Valentine's Day? Are folks still cuddling inside and making their own heat due to the frigid outdoor weather? I don't know. But it was enough to stab me in my stomach for so many years. Imagine growing up and having a birthday bash every damn October. How many names can fit on one cake, lol? And then there's lonely old me in July. Born on the cusp of Cancer & Leo on the same day of the month as my mother. I think the universe conspired to give me multiple personalities so I wouldn't be alone. It's just me and my seven year old bully of a cousin who learned how to pimp me & actually frightens me. I'll never let Harris County keep me from his bday party again...the consequences are too much for me! He thinks Texas is in Gentilly some damn where and had the nerve to tell me to bring my sleeping bag and a chocolate chip cookie...he was NOT playing. Thank God for friends who try to make you feel special although their bday is over two months before yours. Who would've thought the TWO MONTHS & ELEVEN DAYS creation would last this long? I didn't but I'm glad as hell it did...TCH!

What's next????? Once again, I'm going to another wedding this weekend...no comment. Praise Jesus I'll be in the studio on Sunday. I have alot of shit to get off of my chest. If you hear a line or something and think it's about you, it probably is. So I'll take this time to get a few things off my chest in an effort to not spit so much venom on Sunday...it clouds my creativity. And it's the 1st Sunday so neither communion or anointing will be able to save me.

Here we go...y'all already know, NO NAMES!

* Stop asking for the truth if you really don't want it or can't handle it...I'd rather remain silent than lie. We both know my silent treatments can be treacherous.

* I'm so happy you're coming to terms with my lengthy absence. You can stop tossing slick ass comments at me and making me feel guilty as hell. At first, I wasn't feeling your jealousy thing until I remembered how I was ready to go beat a bitch down for fucking with you. So it's a date...AMC Palace 20 Clearview. I'm expecting my NIKES FRESH OUT THE BOX!

* Chill out & just let shit be. You can't force it. The harder you try, the worse it'll get.

* Stop doubting my skills. I really wish you knew me just a little better. You'll join the naysayers soon enough. The silence is music to my ears and a smile on my face. Penelope said "Miss Me With that Foolishness." You should listen to it.

* Crack does kill braincells, "grown ass man." I'm glad you realized you fucked with the right one. It's not my fault you felt checked. See you tomorrow! I hope you still have that hammer in your hand. That's the bitch in you. I've proven I don't need back up...survival of the fittest. Holla at Darwin.

* Cheer up booboo. I know you love him. Despite what you may think, I'm not mad. I think it's sweet!

* I thought I had something to say to you but I don't. I think I've said enough. How can you ask for something that you refuse to give? My only advice is to beware of the "turkey bastin' bitches." You don't have to listen to me. Three Stacks said it best - "These girls are smart. Play your part. PLAY YOUR PART!" With that, Farewell friend.

 This is one of my FAVES...or at least part of it. 

Where is her 2nd verse?

I think it's safe to say that this post was a healthy dose of Marie. Hopefully, the next one will be of substance. There was so much shit going on in N.O. last week, I had to take grams newspaper like NOLA.com doesn't exist. Shit was mind blowing but I refused to focus on any of it. Maybe this weekend will be a smidge better. I'll find something positive so Marie can SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

They Say It's Wrong. I Say It's Just Write.

Title:                            the shortest poem
                                   i never composed
                                   was filled with holes
                                   but soothed my soul.
                                   the meaning was
                                   diverse for many
                                   priceless to some,
                                   to others not a penny.
                                   with pen under pressure
                                   and pages to fill
                                   the ink erupted
                                   and proceeded to spill...

Poem:                                blue(s).



~Creativity has no boundaries. There are no rules. We are taught terms, formats, and technicalities about what is considered art. Be it a painting, a sculpture, a novel, or a song, we cannot be taught creativity. We cannot control what speaks to us. Creativity is everywhere. It is never seen quite the same through different eyes. That's the beauty of having an idea of creativity in your own mind. I hear a song and begin to cry. I stand in the summer heat on a Mississippi porch and take pictures of a butterfly. I stand in the rain and close my eyes. They simply ask why.~
                                         
 *m.marie

Precarious Politikin'

MY, MY, MY...the folks at Lipton, Tazo, Earl Grey, Yogi, Stash, and Traditional Medicinals are REALLY missing me right now. In the day and age where people sue for some of the most ASININE reasons (and win), I have to wonder if I can sue the feds for pain and suffering. Better yet a particular political party...hmmm. It just dawned on me. I am suffering from insomnia, paranoia, severe mental anguish, depression, and physical abuse from being beaten with the STUPID STICK! My cabinets are stocked with tea that I CANNOT drink anymore! It's still raining glass fragments from that "throw it up & smash it" thing. This is a direct contribution to my physical and mental health & wellness. I used to drink a MINIMUM of two cups of tea per day, seriously. Green tea, Black tea, White tea, Chamomile, Lavender, Jasmine, Echinacea, and a slew of others. Now I become so enraged and paralyzed with anger that I can't bring myself to open my pantry and cabinets that my brother SO wonderfully organized when he visited because I have so much damn tea.  Yes, he really did although he may deny it ;-)

So who's to blame? If you weren't hypnotized with the allure and excitement of Monday Night Football, you may have seen the so-called "spirited debate" last night. (*SIDE NOTE - huge props to Michael Vick! Sorry, we do NOT miss you Reggie Bush! WTF is up NFC??? Wake the hell up!) Back to business...tea party, Tea Party, TEA PARTY. Please people, I BEG of you, do not develop tunnel vision while watching ANY of the presidential debates, commercials, and campaigns that we'll be bombarded with in the coming months. I shall not impose my own political views on anyone. Neither will I go on a tirade regarding any of the issues. My goal is to promote individual panoramic comprehensive awareness. We are all concerned about major issues that cross party lines such as unemployment, education, healthcare, taxes, and debt to name a few. Know what your primary concerns are and evaluate which candidate is best aligned with your views and deserves your support.

The same old shenanigans were at it again last night. From this one debate and the reactions of the audience, I can see that PRECARIOUS POLITIKIN' will dominate the election once again.   

You would think that we all recognize the oldest trick in the book, which is, in my opinion, to focus on ONE major issue that will get people riled up and emotionally involved. Past examples include: READ MY LIPS - NO NEW TAXES, Same Sex Marriage, "Cloning" and Stem Cell Research, Abortion, and Disaster Response which is only the tip of the iceberg. A presidency is not dominated by one issue. So how can a presidential campaign be driven by one? Answer:  IT CANNOT. However, it was clear to anyone who watched last night's debate  that they'll be at it again. The last presidential campaign was nothing short of a school yard brawl and mud-slinging contest. Granted, it was historical and ground-breaking, but ugly nonetheless.  I have a feeling that this campaign will put the last one to shame. Simply examining Romney, Perry, and Bachmann was a wake up call that they are attempting to perform the old "wool over the eyes" trick. From bribery to human rights to health care to unjust laws - no one was safe. I actually believe that no one should feel safe at this point. However, focusing on one flaw or smudge on an opponent's record is not grounds to win a nomination and certainly not an election. Many great topics were addressed but it seemed that everyone's concern wasn't to demonstrate their attributes. They were more focused on the opponents' flaws.

I'm all about Women's rights, equality, and proactively being pro-choice. This is not a comprehensive representation of my views across the board. Therefore, I can't jump on the Bachmann Bandwagon simply because she dug into Perry about requiring young girls to get the HPV vaccine. She has to bring much more to the table, which I think she can. Romney seems to have it all figured out. Kudos to him. Perry is...uhm....well........how can I say it.....................supported by Bobby Jindal. Ponzi scheme...enough said.
Of course it wasn't just those three but they stood out the most to me.  

With that said, I'm gon' wrap it up and BEG again. People, hear my plea, do not become a victim of the Precarious Politikin' platform. Know your stance, pay attention to the candidates, and always make an informed decision. This is our lives. I just might be able to enjoy a relaxing cup of chamomile tea soon.

"A politician divides mankind into two classes: tools and enemies." - Nietzsche

"Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare, social justice can never be attained." - Helen Keller

Cute huh?

It's still a damn snake in the grass...

Relationships and Love : The Controversy of the Compromise - Part 2

Aight, it's been an interesting day since 10am. I received several questions about what the deal was with Part 1.
Am I talking about someone I know? Of course. But, then again, who do I really 'know'?
Am I talking about myself? Of course...and thousands of people that I've never met and never will meet.
What's going on? Everything and nothing at all. But I beg of thee to ask marvin gaye.
Why you hating on men like women don't do the same thing? You misunderstand...please re-read and analyze.
Damn, why are you making women seem so weak when you know we don't choose who we love? That's a bit preposterous. Did you actually READ the blog or did you pick up a copy of 'The Idiot's Guide to Understanding m.marie?'

With that said, I'll continue Part 2 as objectively as I possibly can. I'm well aware that you don't choose who you love. However, you do choose to try to force someone to fall or stay in love with you. I've seen it done several times and personally experienced it. I've spent hours listening to the fallout after the realization finally hit home that it WILL NOT happen. And I've attempted to help a broken heart piece itself back together. In no way am I attempting to say that women or men who try to hold onto someone they love are weak. I'm promoting the message of self-worth, happiness, and SELF LOVE for men AND women. Of course, I've been bitten by the love bug more than once but somehow I've built up an immunity to the venom of absurdity. I learned one of the greatest lessons of love at eighteen, it may have been fate or what was thought to be bad luck at the time...when it's time to move on you should do just that...on to da next one. Undoubtedly, it'll hurt. However, that's not a reason to compromise who you are, what you believe in, or what you deserve. Sometimes it's quite necessary to be selfish and put yourself first, especially to get through the pain. Like the saying goes, "you can't love somebody if you don't love yourself."

Damn, I'm sleepy so I'll conclude Part 2 and hope there won't be a necessity for Part 3. I haven't done it in a while so I'll add a little creativity until the next blog. Gotta hit the road for a wedding on Saturday...the beginning of marital bliss. Make of this what you will but not too much...it is part of a verse in one of my songs:

You say I have bad understanding,
so I overstand everything.
You say that I expect the world,
I guess I'm just demanding.
You say that I don't treat you right
that's why I sleep alone at night.
I say you got alot to say
you better get your mind right.
'Cause I'm the shit to me for me,
your words don't mean a thing to me.
I say I gotta do my thing.
So this, my friend is HERstory
~m.marie

Relationships and Love: The Controversy of the Compromise - Part 1

I don't know what it is about Thursday, but it seems to be developing into my day of reflection. Late last night or early this morning, shit it was around 3:30am, I found myself visiting Gypsy's cyberworld and ended up damn near blogging on her blog. Sorry Gyp! But the topics of sexism, feminism, homo-eroticism, subservience, and male domination in relationships really took me to another galaxy mentally.  The word "relationship" causes a series of other words to cross my mind - love, hate, sacrifice, selfishness, compromise, complacency, idiocy, fear, abuse, manipulation, freedom, isolation...I'll stop there because it'll be Christmas 2012 and I'd still be typing words.  

We've all heard it over and over again: RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED. Really? Why is that? That's a serious question because I just don't see it that way. Usually people primarily associate love with sex and relationships. Let's be real. Love isn't even a FACTOR in most relationships. The sex is far more important for some than love, or even like. How often have you seen two people in a "relationship" and it's clear that one person is more invested than the other. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I just think one should at least be honest with him/herself about the "relationship." I won't even get into the so-called warning signs because I think too many people, yes primarily women, turn a blind eye to the fact that the man they're involved with isn't committed. They totally compromise, and damn near eliminate, the possibility of being with someone who will reciprocate those feelings. To me, personal self-worth should NEVER be compromised for a maybe. But for some reason, they hold on to him for dear life hoping his feelings will be reciprocal one day. In the meantime, he's hoping he can get her to try that new position to add to the mental kama sutra log. She will. And in the process she'll hear wonderful melodies and the heaven's will open and the angels will sing...and he'll hear melodies too (courtesy of Swizz & Jay) "on to da next one..."

I know I may sound like I'm dissing women but I'm not. I'm trying to convey the message that you don't have to compromise yourself, your values, or your self-worth to be with someone who would never consider doing the same. Growing up in the hood with a bunch of dudes taught me alot. Having an older brother with females falling all over him taught me alot. HE taught me alot. I've had my share of poor choices in regards to men but I've never been infected with the "love bug" that strips away my capacity to evaluate a situation and accept it for what it is. Love was never my thing. The concept of love is complex. Ask ten people what love is and I'm 99.999999999999% sure you'll receive ten different answers and probably twenty different questions. Love is intangible. You can't reach out and touch it. You can't hold it in the palm of your hand and give it to the one. But you can damn sure recognize it...

I'm not CLOSE to being finished with this topic but I gotta go. So I'll post part of my comment from Gypsy's blog and holla back.

... the shit on our minds definitely sprung from the same embryo.

It's like the same shit, different day scenario with some relationships. I feel you 150 on the "normal" girl thing. THERE IS NO FUCKING NORMAL GIRL! I can go into some categories but I'll save that for mevsmarie!

I can't believe how small minded some men, especially young black men, can be. I went through the same thing on the block, and especially in relationships with all the "smart girl" references. Damn, would you prefer me hopping on one leg and barking like a dog? And on the flip side, how dare me be from the hood, still living in the hood, and attend a certain HBCU with the privileged few? WTF!

Why should I have to confine myself to ONE role, persona, or image to ego stroke? Of course there are always preconceived notions about what a woman should be or do for her man. But at what cost? Do you sacrifice your dreams, reinvent your life, and keep your mouth shut if that's what's demanded? You already know my answer HELL NAW!

If we agree to enlighten ourselves by choosing a book and reflecting on what we've read with eachother, that's iron clad for me. When the time comes that we're not on the same page or even in the same book wtf is a girl to do??? Well Marie keeps reading, flipping pages, and closes the book when the last line is read.

END OF STORY!

*m.marie

   

Thinkin' Thursday

This is the point where those who know me will say "Okay THAT'S Marie!" Today's one of those days in which I seem to be thinking about a million things at once. There's so much on my mind but somehow nothing at all. I know...doesn't make much sense but somebody, somewhere feels me. I can't call it venting but a part of me is steaming. So I guess I'll get a little creative while acknowledging the current economic crisis that is hitting some of us quite hard and others not at all.

THE DEBT DEAL...who came up with that term? Seriously, THE DEBT DEAL? It sounds like something a kid on the school yard would say when he loans a friend fifty cents. Like "sure Billy I'll give you fifty cents today but remember with THE DEBT DEAL you give me seventy five cents tomorrow." I won't even delve into the idiocy and in-fighting that Congress has so openly displayed. I won't name any political leaders or followers. And I definitely won't rant and rave like certain "journalists" who get paid millions to do so.

As I said earlier, I'll get creative. Love it or hate it, this is what it's come to...

The debt deal is like a death sentence.
I try to support my government
but shit just doesn't make sense.
I used to love tea.
It relaxed me and calmed me,
gave me the energy to focus mentally.
But now I can't stand it.
Give me a glass
and I'll throw it up and smash it,
make it rain glass fragments.
Of course I'll just stand there.
And tell somebody take a pic
while I shake the glass from my hair.
I know it sounds like nonsense
but I want that pic to be on the main screen
just for Congress.

Still waiting to be bailed out...
m.marie

The MisEducation of the Educators

It's about that time of year again! Let the back to school shopping begin. Make sure the kids have finished the summer reading lists and count down the days until the first bell rings. Review those necessary school supply lists and check off items as you go..."wishing and hoping and praying" that there are enough composition books, binders, pens, markers, and notebooks left on the shelves at decent prices. While you're at it, don't forget to wish and hope and pray your child has a teacher who's actually there to teach. Wait - huh?

Yes, you read that correctly. Make sure your child's teacher is actually there to teach. As an avid advocate of education, I've seen the ugly side of teachers demonstrating little to no interest in the actual development of student knowledge. I naively thought that the days of teachers professing "I'll get paid whether you learn or not" were over. However, I was in for a rude awakening. Completing Graduate level coursework, during fieldwork, and observations, I was exposed to what can only be called experience.

I must admit that there are some teachers I've observed and worked with who actively engage students in learning as a personal journey of self discovery. They implement different methods of technology into the curriculum to enhance student engagement and facilitate the learning process. To those teachers, I give the utmost respect because teaching truly is a labor of love for those educators who believe they can make a difference and instill the same values in their students.

However, the polar opposite does exist and unfortunately the numbers are drastically higher. Time after time I've wondered how some teachers remain employed. PLEASE don't get me wrong. In these wonderful economic times, I'd hate to see any qualified, motivated, and committed teacher lose their job. But realistically there are some that should not be in a classroom of 20+ students "teaching" them. I've seen everything from name calling to yelling to temper tantrums to power trips and I am NOT referring to the students. It's appalling. No lesson plans, no interactive learning assignments, no group activities, unclear learning objectives, and simple workbook activities are what some teachers are attempting to pass off as "teaching." It's alarming that U.S. students score lower internationally on critical thinking and technology related batteries than other major countries. Our students desperately need to be taught in a way that will allow them to compete in an international business market. 

I can continue on and on (as I believe I already have) but I implore parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and anyone who is invested in a child's future to become actively involved and demand more from their child's education. Participate in Open House. Prepare a list of questions for the teacher to determine how your child will be encouraged, challenged, and enlightened throughout the year. Communicate frequently with teachers via email. Plan at least one day per quarter to visit and observe your child's class and talk to your child about what's happening in the classroom.

Lastly, when given the opportunity in person, ask your child's teacher what they are doing related to CEC'S (Continuing Education Credits) and to explain to you Bloom's Taxonomy. If you don't receive an answer or notice hesitation, you should be alarmed and request that the teacher attend the FIRST teaching bootcamp of the year - a trip with you to the principal's office to discuss your child's educational outcomes in this particular teacher's class. Bloom's Taxonomy is a Teaching 101 lesson that an educator should never forget.  *hint - the answer should contain the words Knowledge, Comprehension, Application, Analysis, Synthesis, and Evaluation. 

For now, that's all folks. I can't help but bring back that wonderful, old Whitney song:

"I believe the children are our future..." you know the rest ;) (hopefully)!

-m.marie

"What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul."
 - Joseph Addison

"Liberty without Learning is always in peril and Learning without Liberty is always in vain. 

- John F. Kennedy